Light on the Dark Side of Me
by ThatSplendidJerk
Summary: On the subject of Togami learning he' the only Togami in the world, and his feelings toward others starting to awaken. This fic is "beginning of Despair" year. It contains info from You are me, I am not you. DR2 spoilers, also for System Breakdown. Do not read if not familiar with DR2. It also has OC's. Mainly Togami centric, OC wise.
1. Lights off, shadows on

**_Note: This fic is "beginning of Despair" year. It contains info from You are me, I am not you. DR2 spoilers. Do not read if not familiar with DR2. It also has OC's, not a lot but mainly Togami centric, OC wise. Spoilers also for System Breakdown._**

_"Togami-kun, I'm aware of the situation being awkward. Your loss is so recent, that I… wanted to postpone it, but now there's no choice left for me. I'm sorry."_

_"It's okay. I'm… supposed to keep my calm even in… situations that come unexpected. I just… expect this to be a short meeting. There is.. somewhere else I'd rather be now…" The youngster rubbed his eyes, clearly exhausted. The headmaster nodded sympathetically. He was the Togami Group scion, but he was also a broken, insecure teen now that the floor under his feet had disappeared._

_" I'll be brief, I promise. Just so you know, I'm recording this interview, this would replace a contract in normal circumstances, but you know…"_

_"These ain't it… just proceed" The scion spoke curtly._

_"Correct. Now, Togami-kun. This may mean you'll have to spend the rest of your life within the walls of this academy. Are you okay with that?"_

_Avoiding Jin Kirigiri's eyes, he heard himself reply monotonously: _

_"Yes, I'm aware and I accept"_

_"I'm sorry you'll be inconvenienced. If there is something you want me to do for you.."_

_"Nothing. Are we done yet?"_

_"We are, Togami-kun. Thanks for your time. I assure you I'll do my best to protect you, as Kibougamine's headmaster"_

_"I'm grateful for your commitment" the blond heir replied in an undertone."If we're finally done… I'll be going"_

Two days had passed since then, and the young cub lion of the Togamis was in unrest. He hadn't heard anything from his family, or the state of the manor. He spent his days sitting by the window, the coffee going cold, no matter how many times Touko reheated it or tried to get him to eat.

Everything was gone. Everything vanished. Not a shred of his empire standing. His Planner, right hand and secretary, Kobayama, gone missing. Two days of that incessant musing, Kirigiri sensei's words echoing in his mind, the riot going on, he was closer to hitting anything than ever before. In all likelihood, the world had gone upside down, and Byakuya Togami was trodding on moving sands.

Fukawa was there, as his pillar and comfort. Being the friends they now were, she was all too willing to support him. She had obtained the grace of having Togami's room's windows to be sealed the last, so the abashed Chosen could get a peek down at the garden. Only now, that wasn't the garden when they had shared their "printed truce" –she writing, he reading – but another scene of chaos by the Despair class students. He stared at it without seeing, a void in his eyes that echoed the void in his mind.

A discreet knock on the door got Fukawa to eye him timidly. His cold stare returned, but there was no glow or life in his pupils as he spoke:

"You go open it."

Silently, the braided youngster went to the door and opened it. It was Kirigiri.

"My father – she mouthed coldly – says he wants to see you both in his office."

"What will it be this time" Togami sighed, his tired eyes barely focusing on the lilac-haired girl.

"Togami-kun. I requested permission to go to your manor and investigate. But he – again the cold tone – wouldn't grant it to me."

"And he did well" Togami replied "They could do that to… my family. No matter how good a detective you are, they will hunt you down. Though…" He stared directly to her eyes "I cannot ignore your concern. It's appreciated".

"Please hurry. I think he managed to find an important clue" She paused "Yet he didn't allow me to see what it was about, he says you must see it"

"Kirigiri. I said I appreciate the concern. But you do not need to get involved with something that's well over your possibilities. Your father is trying to get our class out of this emergency. Don't you try to get killed just because you and him are not friendly with each other"

Touko stared at the blonde. That was a very un-Togamish statement indeed. What had happened in those two days since his ivory tower collapsed?

"I will tell you what the clue is, if you promise you won't risk your life going to the Manor."

"It's not like you to be interested in what happens to others" Kirigiri remarked with a slight smirk.

"Hmph. I feel like repaying my Kibougamine class for being obedient little peasants. Funerals don't suit me in the slightest." He turned around, as Touko was muttering rebelliously.

"And calm down, you of all people, who passes out at the sight of blood, should be happy I don't want anyone in this class to die."

Enough sacrifices had been done. Enough blood had been spilled.

Kirigiri nodded and made her leave. Togami and Fukawa headed for the headmaster's office, wondering about the clue he had in store for them.

Touko knocked at Togami's urging. "Touko-chan, Byakuya-kun? Come in"

As the two adolescents entered the office, they stopped right in their tracks. In his surprise, Togami found the sense to shut the door behind him.

The headmaster was sitting in his chair. In front of his desk, three chairs were set. One was occupied by a slouched, unkempt, heavily bandaged middle-aged man, who turned his head to look at them dolefully.

_"The loyal dog always finds his master…"_

That phrase crossed Togami's mind as he walked towards his servant, incredulous. The first two floors were sealed already… how could this wounded man arrive to the dorms level…

He stared at the headmaster for explanations.

"Allow him to stay seated. He made an impressive feat to get in here, but he's too weak to get up just now" Jin Kirigiri spoke firmly to the young heir.

"Mind… not Kirigiri-sensei, Byakuya-sama. I can stand… well enough."

Even his voice wasn't the smooth, taunting , steady pitch he remembered. It sounded broken, throaty, constricted.

"Remain seated. Are you going to be of any use for me if you die of blood loss?" Togami's pitch was icy, hiding his relief to see the Planner's unexpected comeback.

"I think we're in for some explanations. So if you mind, Kobayama-san…"

"Kobayama is enough, Kirigiri-sensei. For a man like me, that's lost all pride and will to live..."

"You shouldn't…say that!"

Both Kobayama and Togami stared at her, and the hollowness of their eyes shook Touko deeply.

"Touko-san… I'm glad to see you again. Though I need no honorifics anymore… for a Planner and servant to be unable to foresee that our measures just weren't enough…"

"Go to the point. NOW."

Touko bolted. Togami's voice was deadly, yet commanding as usual.

" Yes, young master. Basically… the assaulters were all… high schoolers from this institution."

"Mere high schoolers… from here… that cannot be…"

"Trust me, they were Kibougamine students. Kirigiri-sensei will show me photographs… so I can identify them."

"They cannot be from here, you nitwit!" Togami thundered " We're in the process of being sheltered, it can't be that they are from here… we can't get out, and Kirigiri-sensei is only sheltering students he trusts and knows!"

Kobayama looked at Togami with dog-like eyes.

"I was once a Kibougamine student. I wore this uniform. It is Kibougamine's, one hundred percent".

Touko couldn't help but cover her mouth with her hands at the revelation. Just how? He was a servant, after all!

"Then it means… the reserve class students are aiming at the student's families. They also use the uniform…" Jin Kirigiri cut the discussion short with a deduction.

"Might be indeed. So… they destroyed whatever they… could put their hands… upon… human lives included…"

Rage seeped through Byakuya's insides. He retched visibly, his eyes flashing in cold white anger.

_"Eien Daremo_… how dare that idiot and his minions do a thing like that…"

"Worse still. They are… broadcasting orders through… the Group's private emergency airwave… calling the rest of the household and relatives back to Tokyo. **He's using your voice**. I tried… to interfere the signal, but someone had already blocked my access so… " His voice broke. "They will all be killed if they hadn't been already…"

"Because they'll think it was me. If someone manages to get out of this… they'll lay the blame on me. Discredit. Nice move." Byakuya bit his finger in rage.

"Enough for today. Byakuya-kun, he wants to talk in private with you. We need to get him medicated after you're done"

"I'll see to that" Byakuya cut Jin short. "What's that private conversation you want to have? Kirigiri-sensei needs your answers"

" I came here only to… notify you of the situation. I will be available for more questioning… just not for long. I'll go out and… be in the move again. I know supplies here are essential, so I won't stay more than… a couple of days…"

"W-what are you saying, Katsu-san!" Touko exclaimed. The previous conversation was nothing she could understand, but to see the injured Planner say something like this, elicited her immediate response.

"You can make a better use of me outside. If I can gather information that's useful for the cause, I will make myself useful." Kobayama replied in a subdued voice. "I just came here… because I need my master to have something… I will proceed if Byakuya-sama allows me to."

The blond Heir stared at him in silence.

"It's the only thing that right now… justifies my sorry existence, yet I understand if master would prefer to throw me out instead".

Togami's blue eyes were fixed in the furniture. At last, he sighed and spoke.

"Let's see what it is... If you will excuse us, Kirigiri-sensei. Fukawa, you come, too. I may need you to take notes for me"

The three of them left the room, while Jin Kirigiri stored the photos he had just taken from his file.

Katsu Kobayama had already pointed **all** the reserve class as the assaulters of the Togami manor.


	2. The light of loyalty

In Togami's room, it was further apparent how much of a toll did the beating take on Kobayama.

A slash crossed his mouth like a bloody stitch.

His nose was broken on the bridge in more than a point, looking swollen and bruised.

His breath was arrhythmic, hinting he had a rib or two broken.

He held an arm stiff under his torn and battered cloak, refusing help with a sports bag he was carrying.

His left hand fingers were all broken, and parts of his beard looked either burnt or ripped by force.

He walked slowly, like an old man, partly due to a sprained ankle, partly because of burns all over his left leg, and he leaned on a tree branch he had cut somewhere.

Most of the time, he kept his head down.

A pained Touko would have given anything to see him walk in his confident manner, or simper in his irritating way once more.

"Byakuya-sama… if only I had…planned ahead more countermeasures…"

"Relax. That guy entered the manor because I allowed him to. Don't make excuses to cover up for me"

"I'm not doing that, young master. Though I failed you…"

"You didn't, quit playing the victim."

"How… did you enter, Katsu-san?" Touko intervened, her voice a little fretful.

"I used the air vents and then the garbage storage ladder. Took me… half a day to get through… I couldn't leave the bag behind"

"So it's true. You studied here before, it's natural you would know the map by heart."

"Indeed. Got me the blueprints every year, and requested a 3d model the year you entered, young master"

Byakuya sighed. That was so like Kobayama, thinking ahead and planning. How did a bunch of teens outplan a man as savvy and experienced as him?

"You said you had something I should see. I want to see it."

Togami's voice was commanding, as usual, but now it sounded subsided and dull. Kobayama nodded, not daring to say anything.

"I will need… to open the bag. If you'll excuse me…" he bent down and fumbled with the zipper with his crooked, broken fingers.

Touko tried to grab the heavy-looking bag away from him, but he wouldn't let it go.

"Sorry, Touko-san. I swore no one aside of me would touch it… until the master got it. I bought it here though… I'm so sorry it's dirtying your room" he added, looking at Byakuya's harsh eyes.

"Never mind that. Although it seems… you hid in the sewers to keep it safe –and I know you won't tell us where else you seeked refuge- knowing you, it might be worth it… I doubt you picked something petty, like money from the vault" Togami dismissed the abashed servant's excuse as graciously as he could.

"I was entrusted this with my life. I wouldn't let it go until it reached your hands, young master."

The young heir's eyes showed a distinct melancholy. Of all his servants, Kobayama was the one he saw the most. Yet still, in a situation of danger, his bet was that he would be the first to leave his side… To see him practically crawl to his side made his throat close oddly.

"I only beg you to look at what I bought. You can ask me questions if you want. Though everything there is pretty self-explanatory…"

"Kobayama Katsu" The servant jolted: Byakuya Togami had never addressed him by his full name. "You have already proven your worth. If you can walk, go get your wounds treated, I believe the headmaster won't oppose to you sleeping in the infirmary. Fukawa, you go fetch that Matsuda guy and see if he can patch him up. Also bring a towel and a tracksuit from the gym for him, large should be enough."

"Young master, I-"

"You cannot walk, then. Fukawa, if you trust this lewd vermin enough, walk him to the infirmary"

"But… Touko-san…"

"I-I have no problem doing that." The braided girl chimed in, eyeing Byakuya with anxious eyes.

"You try anything, say anything stupid or try to touch her, I swear you'll see me angry" he hissed as he passed by Kobayama. The servant stared at him incredulously. Byakuya-sama acting protective over Touko-san openly… what was that supposed to mean?

"And mind you come back here when you're done", the heir quipped to the writer. "I might need you"

"Byakuya-sama… I want to be of some use to you…" Kobayama's voice was pained. He had never experienced any sort of kindness from the icy, sadistic young scion. Deserving it was the least he hoped for.

"You already did enough. Go get yourself fixed, wait for Fukawa to give you the clothes, take a bath and sleep. I'm satisfied"

"Byakuya-sama… you're just too kind…"

Breathing heavily, the battered servant stood, making the ghost of a bow in front of him, and cast a sad-eyed stare to the bag.

"I'll spend the rest of the night looking at what you bought me. Just go already, you know you stink, right?" he added, trying to sound harsh.

"Yes sir. I'm grateful, sorry for stinking"

Sighing painfully, the scion bent down to the bag and opened it. It was full of assorted stuff. A two-storied mahogany box, with locks in gold and decorations in ivory, caught his eye first.

It was either a jewelry box that might've pertained to a female Togami, or a male stationary box, like the ones he remembered seeing in certain luxurious shops.

Frowning, he pulled out the top drawer first. It slid open, just as if someone had been poring over its contents and forgotten to lock it back. There was a ring with keys in that drawer: whoever the owner, he or she was in a hurry and slid the keys in, instead of locking it shut.

And, despite his mundanity, his experience and his education, when he disclosed the rest of its contents, he was instantly rendered speechless.


	3. Spotlight of Love

On top of the first layer, there were some assorted photographs. Not just mere portraits. They featured Togami Kojiro, his father, alongside De Montecler Amaya, his mother.

His mother, golden blonde mane sweeping down her back, had her head resting on his father's shoulder, his icy blond strands of hair brushing her cheeks as he lowered his head to look at her.

The teenager's expert eyes reviewed the photos in search of some hidden forgery. Nothing visible. He took the first pile of photographs, held together with a rubber band and labeled in mixed Roman and Western numbers.

"I, 1992"

His eyes widened, drops of sweat dripping from his forehead down. The set he was holding showed them both like lovey-dovey adolescents, his mother and his father, those two alien entities of his life. That wasn't the way he was taught a Head would act with a Chosen Wife.

He couldn't believe those photos were real. They simply _couldn't be_.

Why had Kobayama risked his life to bring back this stu…-

He did a double intake at "II, 1993" the next set of photos. This set consisted almost entirely of pictures of his mother pregnant… and his father by her side.

_Masaka… _

His fingers got febrile. He snatched all the photographs and pored through them one by one. Carefully… slowly… his blood stopping in his veins with each of them…

The Head didn't make personal visits to his harem: they were mere concubines and would remain so up until the delivery of the baby. He had been an only child, his mother delivered only him, no previous miscarriage. He had known that fact, since his medical files were kept in his room and carried with him wherever he went. So it was a fact… that pregnancy his father was presiding over, that expression he had never seen in his calculating, indifferent face… It was his. It was_ for him_.

He took the following set of photographs, which was turned upside down and labeled, in his mother's fine writing "_Choupinet_". He knew what the word meant: "little soldier" in French.

He turned them over. The feeling of unease, of having a metal hook grabbing at his guts, intensified.

A baby boy, already very pale, with a whiff of dirty blonde hair, was in his father's arms. The usually serious, distant Kojiro was smiling sweetly at the newborn, sitting beside Amaya's bed. Breathing heavily, the young heir couldn't make head from toe in all this innuendo. His insides were a complete turmoil. Did he eat something… that now he needed to throw out?

The door opened slightly. It was Touko, he knew that much without need to turn.

His feverish eyes scared her. His panting breath was a bonus worry.

"J-just so you know, Kobayama-san is in bed already. You_ really_ need… to eat something and sleep… I'll whip some crepes for you…"

"Leave that for later, Touko" His tone was harsh and commanding as usual, but again there was a slight weakness in it. "I need your help here"

"Ah… o-of course… Getting you into bed?" She blushed, but stopped at the sight of her beloved shaking. He only did that when very amused – which he clearly wasn't - feverish, angry or unsettled.

"I'll sleep when I get some answers. I want you to tell me… everything you see, no buts. I don't care if you consider a detail to be unimportant, basic, stupid... You might see something I'm skipping, because you were not raised as I was…"

Touko, speechless, took the photographs from Byakuya's hands. Her eyes widened and she smiled at the little family in the pictures. So, definitely, her White Knight didn't grow up in a cold environment all his life…

"Dear me…could this… baby be you?"

"I wish I knew. It's the first time I see it."

Fukawa opened her mouth, and closed it after a few seconds. She knew enough of his family by now to know everything related to bonds and relationships was cut off from his life.

"Well… all I can see is a father holding his son and a mother looking happy…" she stammered, knowing it wasn't the reply he was seeking.

"That's the same… I'm seeing" he grunted. "It doesn't look retouched. The paper is yellowy on the back, and grainy enough to be a photograph taken with an analogic camera."

Suddenly, he let go a laugh, a cold, hollow jeer that froze the writer's blood. "I see! These are well-manipulated images for press releases, for when I was to become the Head. Amazing… it's amazing how far they could go… to forge this stuff."

"It… is a forgery? It – can't be"

"Oh, come on, Fukawa." He sounded relieved to have found a logical, rational explanation. "My family has already fooled you, remember the System… the Head… the Chosen Wife?"

She remembered vividly the torture and the deep distrust she shared with him towards his family. Still, she had that guts feeling that they weren't just actors playing a part. That they genuinely felt something – just what, she couldn't pinpoint – towards their embittered, husky son. But of course, she kept that to herself, because any mention of Amaya or Kojiro would enrage Byakuya for sure.

"Damn Kobayama, playing with me once again. He found this amusing and picked it up before leaving the mansion, how utterly—"

"_Please_. Stop it. Stop it right now."

Togami's frown covered the cynical, mundane smile he had been sporting until then, like a dark cloud. Fukawa dared… to hush him? Her hands were trembling – hell, no, she was _trembling all over._

Was she suppressing Syo from coming out?

"Okay. So it isn't forged, you say. And what do you suggest? There is no one we can trust to…"

"Kobayama-s…" Fukawa began, but was interrupted by Togami's loud protests.

"No, no, no, no, no and no. No-way! I'm _not_ going to confide in that viscid reptile –_ ever_!"

"I think… we are in a dead alley, Byakuya-sama. No one else can give you an answer now. Though… I w-would wait until tomorrow if I w-where you… he's in a pretty bad shape now…"

Never, no matter how angry he was or how bothered, had Touko Fukawa seen Byakuya Togami's eyes flashing the way she saw them then.

"Who do you care more about, Fukawa? The truth I deserve to know… or that douchebag's sleep?"

There was the faintest of silence pauses. His ice-burning eyes met her opal pupils.

"Your truth" the auburn haired replied, quietly. "Be what it may be… you need to bring this… to a closure."

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Katsu Kobayama was wide awake, battling with one million ghosts, when four loud bangs at the door made him jolt out of the bed. Wary and suspicious, he grabbed a flask of alcohol and gripped his bandaged, crooked fingers around the lid. He had caught sight of it early on, and was fully prepared to use it as a weapon in case of need.

"Who is there?" he voiced hoarsely.

"Me, you nitwit, open the damn door or I'll throw it down"

Fierce as usual, that cub lion of the Togamis, ruthless as a rolling boulder.

"Young master… I'm really… sorry to do this… but I just cannot open the door"

"Just what in the world do youthink you're…"

"Which were _your other two names_? I will open if your…answer is correct…"

He heard the Heir growl impatiently, heave a sharp sigh and mutter, more than say "_Baldur Thoreau et Basile Thiers" _

The two false names he went by when he studied in England and Switzerland.

The Planner walked to the door and opened it. He was full of patches and bandages, heavy iodum stains showed on every gauze he wore. He looked every bit as shaken and insecure as before, his confident, malicious demeanor completely gone. The beaten body of an adult presided by the eyes of a terrified child.

"Sorry for resorting to code. I will never, ever allow myself to be overconfident again"

"I suppose me neither" the scion confided grudgingly "But that was to be expected. Cut the petty chat and listen" he urged "I came here to get an explanation from you" He looked over his shoulder, as Fukawa timidly walked in with the mahogany box.

Kobayama's eyes closed with a sort of reverence. "Lady Amaya's sewing box. I take you saw what it contained, young master?"

"Of course I did, save your blabbering. Why did you take time to pick that sort of…_stuff,_ instead of coming directly to me?"

Kobayama was expecting the question, yet he only uttered a small gasp, as if Togami's question had been a jab aimed to his solar plexus.

"Weren't you his – his Planner, the one he knew the longest – why did you… instead of staying by his side and fighting… you fled like a damn coward…?!" His throat constricted, willing to hurt someone to discharge the turmoil in his heart, Togami lashed at the already brittle servant, who only lowered his eyes and answered in a shaky voice:

"Because those… were my Master's orders, young master"

His father had ordered him to protect the box and the rest of the stuff?

"He cared more for these forgeries than everything else… including fighting back? He allowed to be killed? Just like that? Without putting a fight… are you telling me the Head of the Togami Group did that?"

"Allow me to dissent, young master" Togami gritted his teeth. Kobayama was frowning now. "Kojiro-sama wasn't that kind of person, and you know it. He bo-bought me… enough time to pick all the stuff and leave… He left plenty of wounded and at least… some dead behind…"

"Then why was he… why didn't he make it…"

"Too many enemies armed teeth to toe. And also he had someone he was aiming to protect, someone who just wouldn't leave his side…"

A person that could stand up to his orders. He only knew one such person, and the images he had rejected as false slowly began to make a lot of sense. If his father stayed behind for his mother…

Kobayama confirmed his thoughts. "I'm meaning lady Amaya, of course"

Byakuya's frown deepened. "It's the first time you ever called her like that."

The Planner smiled sadly. "That was because she disliked the title. Lady Amaya was elegant but utterly... unsophisticated…"

A tense silence ensued.

Completely forgotten, Touko stepped back, in an attempt to leave the room. Sure, she had stalked him in the past, yet even she had limits. It made her uneasy, overhearing that kind of private stuff about Togami's parents.

But it was the blonde himself who drew the line.

"I'm sure I didn't tell you to leave"

He looked down at his battered servant, eyes glowing with resent.

"You knew about this stuff, didn't you?"

"Sure I did, young master."

"By gossip, word-of-mouth? Because I doubt they trusted you that much as to tell you this kind of – stuff" the scion muttered darkly.

"They didn't tell me" The servant shook his head absent-mindedly "I took all those photos myself"

Touko suppressed a gasp, but Byakuya wasn't impressed nor convinced. His eyes didn't show trust nor warm up a single degree. "Then, you are the greatest…_swine _on earth. Why did you keep it hidden from me… was it a requisite that they were… _- no, he couldn't say it - __**gone **_before you told me this?"

Slowly, Kobayama lowered his head. He looked more and more like a child left on his own.

"It certainly was, young master. At least, to the extent I was let in the information."

"So they didn't want to confront me… How convenient" he scoffed to hide his confusion.

"Both knew… you were sort of ashamed of them. Once you were declared Heir, Kojiro-sama and Lady Amaya stepped back, so that the light shone over your head only. They said you deserved your own glory, but they never intended to leave you… alone. As you rejected the other prospects… the masters thought it was a perfect chance for me to become your Planner."

He paused, apparently overcame by a wave of emotion.

"… After all, the fact you rose to Heirship… had _always_ been a personal dream of theirs"


End file.
